My perfect car, hands down, is the one I used to have. A green Subaru station wagon with all the right bumper stickers – Share More – Consume Less, Don’t Postpone Joy, Teach Peace, Impeach Bush – ah, it was perfect. We were new to the area when we bought it, so we had no idea that a green Subaru station wagon, adorned with just the right bumper stickers was actually THE OFFICIAL CAR of “The Happy Valley” of Western Massachusetts. I figured that out pretty quickly when the only way I could pick my car out of the green Subaru line-up in the co-op parking lot was by differentiating my leftie bumper stickers from all the other leftie bumper stickers.
So there I was, happy as a pig at a vegetarian convention, with my green Subaru station wagon – secure in the knowledge that my all-wheel drive wouldn’t fail me – even through the snow, sleet and black ice, otherwise known as spring in New England. But no amount of all-wheel drive can save you from an inattentive driver plowing his truck into you from behind (maybe he was busy reading my bumper stickers) while you’re stopped behind a school bus. Before I knew what hit me (actually, I knew what hit me . . . I watched it happen through the rear-view mirror), my Subaru was under the school bus, just below where it says, KEEP BACK ONE HUNDRED FEET! I tried, I thought. I really, really tried.
I was shocked, but unhurt and I remember thinking, if they would just get this pesky bus off of my car, I could go home! Well, needless to say, that car was soon replaced by what I now drive – a blue Volvo station wagon. It’s not nearly as cool as the Subaru; doesn’t get particularly great gas mileage (but that’s offset by St. John’s Volkswagen Beetle which gets 40 mpg AND runs on bio-diesel); but I do believe it is THE OFFICIAL CAR of Connecticut soccer moms! And I am secure in the knowledge that I am now driving a nearly indestructible tank – no bumper stickers allowed!
* Farewell, My Subaru is the title of Doug Fine’s latest book. I’ve yet to read it, but it’s definitely on my list as it sounds like a pretty funny memoir of a guy who’s trying to reduce his carbon footprint by seriously reducing his use of fossil fuels. Great idea, great website and I just couldn’t resist borrowing his title!
12 Replies to “Farewell My Subaru* by Deb Eve”
Oh my gosh, I drove a Subaru. It was white and my dad actually put a new calf in the back part of it once. He held the calf in place while I drove to the barn. As you can imagine, Mama Cow was running along beside us, head-butting the car the whole way. Moral of story? Subaru’s can handle any terrain: Black ice, school buses and cow pastures!
These car stories you guys have written about this week have brought back some funny memories I’d forgotten about. THANKS!
Gosh, this reminds me of my first car accident. I was coming up on stacks of cars waiting at a light which had just turned green, and I was looking at the green light and thinking about my fiance of my exams or a party or who knows what and HOLY CRAP THEY’RE STILL STOPPED and I tucked the front end of my small car neatly under the tailgate of the SUV in front of me. We disconnected, he had no damage, and we went on our way.
That’s when I found out how much it costs to repair collision damage. I think I still have three grey hairs from that phone call.
This part cracked me up: “I tried, I thought. I really, really tried.”
My mother was in an accident in her suburu, too–and my step-father upgraded her to an indestructable volvo station wagon, as well. Must be the protective instinct of husbands everywhere. They used to be ubiquitous amongst the soccer set–until the mini-van and SUV took over.
There’s always that “one and only” car that was made just for you. Sorry to hear that a school bus, no less, gobbled it up.
Oh, gosh, now there’s another topic – car accidents! I’m sure we ALL have our horror tales. Kris, I still shudder when I come upon a situation like the one you described . . . or anywhere where I fear a sudden stop . . . or anytime I’m behind a school bus . . . or whenever there’s a white truck in my rearview mirror! Meredith, I hadn’t realized the whole Subaru to Volvo after an accident was a national phenomenon. Did your mom’s involve a bus, perchance? And Larramie – not just a school bus – but the very school bus that my SON was in! I know, I know . . . the whole thing could have been SO, SO MUCH WORSE! Let’s not even go there.
Marsha – a live calf in the back of a Subaru??? Okay, first of all, what kind of Subaru was it? How big was the calf? And do you have pictures of this????
Oh gosh Eve, yes, my minor crash described above was hardly anything. The far worse experience was sliding off the road three times in two years while commuting forty miles to work (NEVER AGAIN), the last time totally trashing the car because it slammed into a shallow ditch at about 40 mph. I was lucky to have just a bruise on my knee. To this day I get sweaty palms if I have to drive in the winter on the highway (something I avoid whenever possible).
Oh, Eve, I only wish I had pictures of it! The car looked just like the one in your pic. I was driving it in the late 80’s and they really haven’t changed that much. It was the station wagon kind and the calf was newborn so it was fairly small. I don’t, however, recommend hauling a calf in the back of one. Dad had to hold it since even new calves are QUITE strong.
I got hit by a car once, does that count towards anything??? But then come to think of it…Josh was hit by a car, Jeremiah was hit by a car…my dad was hit by a truck, I dunno’ maybe our family should walk.
That’s too scary, Eve! Yikes!
No, mom, apparently it means WE SHOULD NOT WALK (at least not in traffic)!
Oh yeah, why didn’t I think of that???
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