1. Dreaming of all the hobbies I’d take up if I had more time.
2. Amateur Sleuthing. For instance, the grayish pulp mashed on the floor is:
a) dessicated blueberries
b) playdough mixed with an unidentifiable substance
c) probably biological in nature
d) all of the above
3. Planning sensible, healthy, economic meals that eventually will be consumed after a ritualistic series of orange-level threats, negotiations, and bartering.
4. Tracking the mating habits of socks in the wild. Why are there so many single socks? Are socks not, perhaps, meant to coexist in lifelong, monogamous relationships? If so, why do we force this arrangement on them? Discuss.
5. Filling up the car, a task that no one else in the family apparently has the ninja-level skills to accomplish.
6. Atrocious reality TV (see “guilty pleasures” post).
7. Obsessively checking your Amazon ranking, even after you’ve been warned NOT to do this.
8. Exercise! Loading and unloading three kids from the car + eight bags of groceries + dry cleaning + coming inside and fixing dinner, doing a load of laundry, the dishes, and tidying up the family room after what appears to be a nuclear blast = tone and definition!
9. Checking your Amazon ranking again.