Forgive me readers for I have sinned by Deb Tiffany

debauthorpicI was going to get all holier-than-thou this week and write something about how writing is my guilty pleasure, or biking, but who am I kidding? I am only human, and so, dear readers, it is with my head hung low that I confess to indulging in the guiltiest pleasure of them all. That’s right, people. I’m talking about Rock of Love.

If you’ve seen Rock of Love, you know of what I speak. And if you haven’t, well, I don’t even know how to describe it. Ew, maybe. Or, OH DEAR LORD. Oh dear lord and the devil’s tail, too.

Rock of Love, for the uninitiated, involves Bret Michaels, a somewhat washed-up, middle-aged rock star and two busloads of the most silicone, skankiest, dumbest girls you’ve ever seen. And that’s a somewhat kind assessment, although the jury is still out on one or two of them.

Watch, my friends, and, like me, you will also become puzzled. You, too, will wonder WHAT IS UNDER BRET’S BANDANA? If he takes it off, do his horns pop out? And WHERE DO THESE GIRLS COME FROM? Don’t they have mothers? Actually, wait, they do. Some of appeared on last season’s Rock of Love.

Really, words fail me, and that’s bad because I’m a writer. I know it sounds like I’m judging, but these girls are so scary that Sharon Osbourne was inspired to try to clean them up and largely failed. How about them apples?

So let me invite you to the smut feast that is Rock of Love. It airs on Sundays. I advise watching it with some form of alcohol. This is because most of the people on the show are looped and also because, after watching Bret open-mouth kiss up to half a dozen girls in rapid succession, you will have the urge to sanitize your own mouth with a bottle of antiseptic, tequila, or both.

Finally, I wish I could tell you that I’m learning some great, moral lesson from this program, but I’d be a liar if I did. And if you’re my wonderful, lovely editor and you’re reading this post, then please note that the above paragraphs were all fiction. Of COURSE I’m slaving over my new book and not watching Rock of Love! (Except when I kind of am).

15 Replies to “Forgive me readers for I have sinned by Deb Tiffany”

  1. Gee, I feel all guilty and dirty if I happen upon The Bachelor and can’t quite turn away. I can only imagine the smut of which you speak! Should we all come over for an intervention? (Bearing margaritas, of course!)

  2. I feel some reality TV confessions coming on!

    Eve, I’ve had that same car-wreck attraction to the The Bachelor, and eventually I get so angry at these women for catfighting and slinking around to “win” this “prize” of a man that I shut it off.

    Lately, though, I’ve been addicted to Project Runway, on DVD because we haven’t had cable in a few years. Man, was season three the bitchiest ever? Or is it just me?

    I think it’s good to know that someone can write a brilliant book and still enjoy some lowbrow entertainment! Makes me feel better about my own television weaknesses (see note about Project Runway, also, Supernanny.)

  3. First off, there is nothing lowbrow about Project Runway (or “P-Run,” as we like to call it).

    However, yes, “Rock of Love” is the guiltiest of pleasures! You may take the cake this week, Tiffany. LOL. (This from someone who took ONLY three episodes of “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF” to realize she was above it. *sticks nose in the air*)

  4. I can’t say I’m addicted to any TV shows–mainly because I watch them at work and don’t watch them at home. I admit to watching more episodes than I needed to of last year’s Next Food Network Star because I wanted to see who was going to be eliminated & how they were going to mess up, though. And when I was home during the first few months after my son was born, I developed an unhealthy obsession with that TV psychic guy. But since I fully intend to use him in a fictional piece someday, I’ll just call that phase “research.”

    Can you work Rock of Love into your WIP, Tiffany?

  5. Ah yes, the shows we watch when our first children are born, and all we can do is sit and feed the baby and stare at the TV…. That’s how I got hooked on Trading Spaces (I couldn’t reach the remote after A Baby Story) and VH-1’s Pop Up Videos. Remember those videos? Good times.

    After kid two, you pretty much watch whatever will keep Kid One out of your hair long enough to feed/diaper/rock Kid Two. In my case, lots of “Cars” and “Backyardigans.”

    Katie, I thought of you watching Project Runway! I figured you must love it, what with the sewing and ironic dresses.

  6. Oh, this cracked me up! I have not seen this show but now I must check it out, at least once. I did watch an episode of Mama’s Boy a couple weeks ago and was similarly horrified/riveted/disgusted with it. I think the appeal of some of these shows is exactly that jaw-dropping ridiculousness and bad/stupid behavior. No one would believe it if it was fiction!

  7. Seriously? You guys consider the Bachelor and Project Runway to be your trash? Okay, now I’m REALLY embarrassed! Rock of Love is like one step up from professional wrestling. Sigh.

  8. A few days ago I would have been clueless about Rock of Love but then Bret Michaels was promoting the show on TODAY! While the basic concept of his reality TV program eludes me, this scaggy looking guy is the father is two little girls…OUCH!

  9. OOOh, oooh, Tiffany, I read your book review in People (my guilty pleasure)…3 stars…good work. It was exciting to see it and read it…especially since I usually do not know many of the…ummm…people they are talking about…but I do like when they do the “worst” dress list.

    During the long, long pre-election news cycle, I got addicted to CNN, then MSNBC…now I watch c-cpan alot, especially during the confirmation hearings…is this a move up or down from Oprah and Dr. Phil?

    I watch the Brit coms…old ones, I have seen a zillion times…but I don’t think that is a “guilty pleasure”. Come to think of it…being of the Jewish persuasion…guilt is the fuel of all life.

    Now reading “The Last Empress”, by Anchee Min. I love history based books. I realized I love a book if it teaches me something…anything at all.

  10. It’s funny, because I just watched an episode of the train wreck this afternoon-EEEWWW! A bunch of overweight, skanky, dumb girls competing for the STDs of a has-been rocker. But kind of addicting.

  11. Eve’s Mom, sometimes on Saturday night on PBS I find myself sucked into an old Britcom called Keeping Up Appearances… it slays me. I have a UK sense of humor, I think, whatever that is. Anyway, British comedy in any almost form slays me.

    Katie, you are fierce.

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