The topic this week is fun facts. I wrote them as they came to me, freestyle:
- Sometimes I’m carrying on about something and I find myself thinking, Oh my God, this person must be so annoyed because I’m irked and I’m the one talking. What I’m saying is: I occasionally annoy myself.
- This is painful to admit, but I’m obsessed with that Justin Bieber song Love Yourself.
- It takes me less than 5 minutes to shower. 7 if I’m shaving. I only buy shampoo, conditioner, and body wash with pump dispensers for efficiency.
- I despise being wrong. I’m working on it.
- I adore weddings. Really, I love the beginning of things in general. I find that stage so empowering. But then, I like anniversaries too. I find that stage so validating.
- When I gain weight, it starts with my upper thighs. When I lose weight, it starts with my boobs. I’ve come to peace with it.
- I’ve been told I give killer eulogies. It’s a challenging compliment to get excited about.
- In college I once chugged a beer in 3.2 seconds. Now I’m a wine snob. The spectrum seems to correlate with the aging process.
- I’ve had more than 150 stitches and 17 surgeries.
- The second my kids go to bed I resume my bad habit of swearing. Theoretically I should be able to stop since I hold back all day, but instead it’s as if I have a swearing quota that I now have only two waking hours to fulfill.
- I do not enjoy shopping unless it’s for books.
- I knew I would marry my husband the first time I met him. We were 18.
- I’ve lost people who were important to me and survived. (I guess that’s not really a fun fact…)
- My biggest parenting fear is that I’ll raise an asshole.
- As a kid, the Kool-Aid Man scared the bejesus out of me. I used to imagine him bursting through my bedroom wall in the middle of the night. I still think he has a menacing face.
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Abby Fabiaschi is the author of I LIKED MY LIFE (St. Martin's Press, February 2017). She and her family divide their time between Tampa, Florida and Park City, Utah. When not writing or watching the comedy show that is her children, she enjoys reading across genres, skiing, hiking, and yoga. Oh, and travel. Who doesn’t love vacation? Learn more at abbyfabiaschi.com.
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