Hagen Daz and Having It All by Deb Danielle Younge-Ullman

I should probably skip past the part where I went out for milk on Saturday night (eve of Mother’s Day) and bought not only the milk, but a novel I had no official reason to read and a pint of Hagen Daz. I certainly shouldn’t admit I sat in the grocery store “bistro” for over an hour, ate the entire pint and read most of the book. Sadly, it wasn’t the flavor of Hagen Daz I thought it was and I didn’t even like it that much. But more than the guilt I’d have felt buying another pint, I was too exhausted to make the trek back to the other side of the store to get it.

But I shouldn’t tell that story, because I have everything.

I have the cutest little girl who gave me a big-cheeked smile and said “Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!” as I came down the stairs Sunday morning and a wonderful, hilarious, talented husband (aka The Oppressor) who coached her to say it and then made chocolate chip pancakes for us all.

I have a great little dog who thinks he is my firstborn.

I have my grandmother, Fast Eddy, who is 92 and danced all night at my brother’s wedding in March. She still plays on the floor with my daughter, reads umpteen newspapers a day, makes her own wine and is ready at any moment with a wink and a highly quotable zinger.

I have my mom. We finish each other’s sentences. She will drop everything to come to my rescue, held my hand through labor (The Oppressor was rubbing my back) not to mention every childhood illness and a variety of heartbreaks over the years. I have held hers too. And now I see how she loves my little girl and it slays me because in this I can see how she must have loved me too. And how she must love me now, all these years later, after living through so much together.

And I have my book—another kind of baby coming into the world. What this means to me cannot be described, even though I am a writer and should theoretically be able to do it.

I have everything.

But it must be noted (for all mothers) that “everything” can be an exhausting thing to have.

Everything can include a sick toddler followed by a puking dog at 4 am, three days in a row. Everything can include no time to finish the next book, food rotting in the fridge, laundry piling up, fatigue so deep you stop thinking clearly, lose the ability to prioritize, stare at your computer screen all day trying not to rub your damned itchy right eye. Having everything may mean you need to spend a Saturday evening in the grocery store with too much ice cream and a good book, just for some time to yourself.

Take it.

Happy Mother’s Day Week, to every kind of mama.

Deb Danielle


14 Replies to “Hagen Daz and Having It All by Deb Danielle Younge-Ullman”

  1. And you have a ton of friends (writer ones and otherwise), and more family, I’m sure, who love and support you. So yeah, you’ve got it all. And no one deserves it more.

  2. That’s a sweet post, D. And I remember picking up that book just based on the cover one day, and found it to be an enjoyable read as well. If you liked that book you should check out A DANGEROUS DRESS by Julia Holden (which is actually a pseudonym for a man who is a screenwriter, I believe. It even has a feisty grandmother in it so I think you might like it 😉

  3. I have emailed it on to your 92 year old grandmother who just hasn’t got the concept of a blog yet. The part about your mother is just too nice to comment on.

  4. Great post, I got teary right around the middle. It’s good to have everything, and even better to recognize it when you do.

    Happy belated Mother’s Day to the girl who has everything — And deserves it.



  5. Joanne: yes, the list goes on! And I hope I appreciate it all enough, even when I’m stressed out of my mind and trying to figure out how to juggle everything. (Full time help comes to mind!!!)

    Jenny: Thanks for the book rec–sounds interesting!

    Cindy: Thanks for emailing Fast Eddy (who DOES have email, even though blogs are a bit beyond her.)

    Lisa: back at you! I can’t even imagine how YOU juggle it all. And I live to make you teary, of course.

    Eileen: Yep, the chocolate chip pancakes were awesome. And just what I needed after all that ice cream the night before.

    Gail: Thanks! It’s been an interesting journey, that’s for sure.

  6. Wow…well, you come darn close to having it all in my eyes!! 🙂

    (PS: I LIKE grocery shopping…but they’re closing my favorite store next Wednesday. Sad!)

  7. I feel very lucky to have on my list a talented friend whose writing brings a smile to my face! Thanks Danielle.

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