In which Deb Kristina is not complaining (not much, anyway)

liarscoverthumbnailHere’s my revelation about being published: you don’t walk around in a cloud of stardust every minute.

Eventually, it gets routine, even dull. Being a published author starts to feel ordinary, because, well, it is ordinary when you’re in it.

Mind you, I’m a positive, upbeat person, so much so that I strongly suspect certain people have wanted to punch me in the nose.

However. Even I, the original Pollyanna, have my not-great days as a published author. As I said in a thread at the writing community Backspace, every high wears off, no matter how good.

I know how this might sound. I’ll admit to some moments in my “aspiring author” time of wanting to spit nails listening to a published author on a blog or forum complain about traveling for a tour or having to write furiously to meet a deadline. The internal dialogue went something like this: At least you have a deadline! At least you have a book for which to tour!

But even dream jobs have their not-so-dreamy moments. Think about anything you’ve ever desperately wanted to achieve: a job, a position on a sports team, parenthood. And maybe it’s everything you’ve ever hoped for, but something is still going to suck.

See, I have to say this, too, because I wouldn’t trade my author woes for my struggling-freelancer-unpublished-writer woes, anymore than I’d trade in my kids to sleep in an extra hour.

I know I’m lucky. It’s a dream come true. And I get fresh hits of that “book deal” high now and again, when I get a fan letter, or a lovely review. But in between the highs are long lonely days and weeks of working my ass off, because if getting here is hard, staying here is even harder.

Not that I’m complaining.

11 Replies to “In which Deb Kristina is not complaining (not much, anyway)”

  1. “I wouldn’t trade my author woes for my struggling-freelancer-unpublished-writer woes, anymore than I’d trade in my kids to sleep in an extra hour.” Once, when I was on the South Beach Diet, I swear, I would have traded my kids to a band of gypsies for a donut.(Well, one kid – the little one – for a donut. Both of them for a donut AND a coffee coolatta.) I’m not proud of this fact, but it’s true.

    I quickly went off the South Beach Diet. I’m a little thicker around the middle than I’d like … but the kids are much safer!

  2. Eve, let’s just say I’m glad no one poses that question to me at 6:30 a.m….

    I guess we should also be glad bands of gypsies don’t go around with trays of donuts. I think no-carb diets are the work of the devil.

  3. I like this. Look at celebs – movie stars – people with “everything” who are pretty much miserable. I think we tend to glamorize the things we’re striving for – and minimize the realities. Human nature I suppose. Keeps us going. I remember signing with my agent and never feeling more excited. Then there was the golden hour of hope known as “just out on submission.” Then the editor comments start coming back! Good bye fluffed out sails! LOL! Everything we do is a series of ups and downs – I guess the best we can do is try to keep and even temperament so we don’t fly too high and melt our wings or grovel on the ground in despair. Neat post!

  4. Kim, I’ve had that same thought about celebrities. It’s not like Brad Pitt wakes up every day doing cartwheels because he’s Brad Pitt. I follow Nia Vardalos (of BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING fame) on Twitter and she shared how tough it is to put out an indie film (MY LIFE IN RUINS) at the same time as summer blockbusters. She’s famous, a star even, but that doesn’t mean all is perfect and easy.

    Joelle, THANK YOU! Yep, reviews like that DO bring back that special “book deal” feeling!

    Larramie, you got it! To use a news-pundit cliche…it’s a game-changer.

  5. I think Kristina raises a great point — I’ve heard that we all return to our usual threshold of happiness within a year of some fantastic event (even selling a book!) And it’s true that achieving your dreams doesn’t mean the rest of your life will be flawless. Look at all the lottery winners who end up miserable! Having highs and lows are normal.

  6. LOL, Kristina! I don’t think I’ve ever heard you complain, so you’re safe. (Well, you know what I mean… the internet equivalent of hearing, I guess.)

    I feel exactly the way you do–I was mostly happy/slightly cranky before I was a published author, and I’m afraid to say, I’m mostly happy/slightly cranky now. But as you say, those great reviews and fan emails really add a few smiles.

  7. I think you have it right on, Kristina. There is a big line separating achievement of a dream from simply dreaming the dream. But, in the end, achievement just poses new dilemmas, challenges, and new dreams to be chased. Yes, of course with achievement comes satisfaction and joy. Still, as they say — after the joy, there are the dishes…

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