I’ve always envied people who dream about fun things like flying or showing up naked to work. Though my dreams start out normal, there’s usually a point where my subconscious shifts and says, “You know what would make this dream about browsing the library even better? Gnomes! And let’s line the floor with Pop-Tarts. And what if all the books grew wings and started flying around sqwaking about a shoe…

I don’t watch a lot of movies. I know that sounds snobby, especially when I add that I strongly prefer reading books. It really isn’t some high-minded literary thing, I swear. It’s more an issue of attention span and the fact that I don’t have one. Books keep me engaged because I’m an active participant, but sit me down in front of a movie and I guarantee at least 50%…