Deb Tawna’s idea of a balanced meal is not the same as her husband’s

My parents did an excellent job teaching me the importance of balanced nutrition.

As an adult, I’ve added my own neurotic twist. All food groups must be represented in a meal. I start to twitch if there’s not a fruit or veggie on my plate, and I would cheerfully suck milk straight from the cow if it were the only way I could get my three servings of dairy.

My husband, on the other hand, has a different idea of a balanced meal.

Here’s what was included in the first breakfast I ever watched him eat:

  • Leftover Mexican food
  • Cheesecake
  • Fish sticks
  • Fruit Loops
  • Chocolate milk

One could argue (as he did) that there’s a fair amount of balanced nutrition in that meal, but still…eeew.

I should point out that he earned a degree in exercise physiology and has taken enough health and nutrition classes to be able to recite the citric acid cycle in his sleep.

Yet it’s not uncommon for him to come home from work and inform me the only thing he’s eaten all day is a Power Bar and an order of Chicken McNuggets.

Want to know what’s really unfair? Despite his rather unbalanced eating habits, here’s what my 41-year-old husband looks like shirtless:

I snapped that this past summer when he was at the local pool training for a triathlon. Obviously, his physique suffers greatly from the fact that he doesn’t share my incessant need to eat whole grains.

Of course, I don’t share his workout regimen either (the highlight of which is the notion that “a quick bike ride” means peddling 90 miles up the side of a mountain).

In the end, it all balances out. I don’t force-feed him salad and he doesn’t care that I sit on the sofa drinking wine while he runs on the treadmill.

Are you a neurotically healthy eater, or do you consider a bag of Starburst your daily ration of fruit? Please share.

And please feel free to ogle my husband. I certainly do.

23 Replies to “Deb Tawna’s idea of a balanced meal is not the same as her husband’s”

  1. Your husband’s abs are totally ogle-worthy, but what’s really making me drool is the desire to have rock-hard abs and eat cheesecake and chocolate milk at the same time. I think only men can pull that one off. So unfair…

  2. This made me laugh–my fiancé also has an exercise physiology degree and can put together similar meals but run 20 miles and keep a solid, defined physique.

    I’m neurotically healthy, with a twist of “needs chocolate daily.” I love the farmer’s market, cooking healthy meals and have an obsession with spinach, but I definitely have a sweet tooth. Your husband’s breakfast, however, is something I can’t do. I need my food to “go” together.

  3. I’m a balanced eater, which means I should look like your husband. Sadly, I look more like a potato.

    However, I’ve spent much of my life absorbing conflicting ideas on what constitutes a balanced diet. The goalposts keep moving, so I think we should follow Michael Pollan’s advice – Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

    Ben & Jerry’s is plant-based, right?

  4. Ok, in the eighties I met my 1st self-proclaimed lesbian(ok 1st female lesbian-see “I thought I was a cowboy, but turns out I’m a lesbian” joke.) According to her, in the ’80s the perfect four food groups – “Cocaine, champagne, chocolate & P_____y”. her words, not mine, though in those days, I’d have had to agree. My, weren’t we decadent 😉

  5. Daaaaaamn, girl.

    I better not show this to my boyfriend. He’s 42 and was a master yogi before he broke his leg pretty much in half about two years ago. Now he’s working really, really hard to get back in shape. He’s lost 30 pounds and he looks great… but he doesn’t look like that!

  6. Um, so Tawna…would Pythagoras be you know, interested in posing for Fantasy Man Friday? *cough*

    I’ve recently started watching what I eat because at 34, I need to lose weight. I’m not killing myself with a diet, so much as choosing what I eat carefully. One day a week I treat myself to something completely off my diet. I’m feeling better than I have in years and actually have…you know, energy and stuff. If I’m not careful, I might become one of those perky people.

  7. LOL. I’m a horrible eater, and I don’t exercise. I don’t look TOO bad, but I’m definitely not fond of photos of myself.

    I also have three jobs and three small children, so…it’s kind of an “it is what it is” situation. 😛

  8. WOW. So not fair. I, too, married Mr. Metabolism. 6′ 4″ and prone to drinking his carbohydrates, he complains about being “fat” b/c of this barely-visible little “beer belly” he insists he has. *snort* I’m all for the wine-on-the-couch. That’s a sport I can get into…

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