I’m an older millenial, and so are a bunch of my friends. We’re the Oregon Trail generation, hundreds of thousands strong, folks who graduated college straight into a recession and have spent the last few decades struggling to survive. And here we are, our forties approaching like an overloaded freight train, and most of us have just started doing things previous generations did decades ago: buying houses, getting married, having babies.
Let me get personal for a second. I got married early, at 25, but my husband and I weren’t ready to have children then (he’s a musician and I’m a writer, we wanted to travel, and ha ha ha, money, we didn’t have any, and babies are expensive). When we finally decided to give it a go, getting pregnant was harder than we thought. Luckily, my issue was corrected by some newfangled laparoscopic surgery and at 38, I found myself pregnant with my daughter.
But many of my friends weren’t as lucky.
I’ve watched so many women struggle with fertility issues. Some of them stayed quiet, suffering in silence. Some of them chronicled each and every tiny detail on Twitter. They struggled. And they struggled with more than the medical learning curve, as well—they were judged, and felt judged, by society. Most of them have babies now, which is wonderful. But wow, Amy’s THE TRYING GAME? I wish it had been published three years ago so I could have gotten multiple copies for the women, their moms, and their best friends.
This book is absolutely indispensible. Every question you could possibly have? Answered. Questions you didn’t know you had? Answered. And she goes further than that—what’s the role of laughter in embryo transfer? She tells you. How do you emotionally handle the wait to take a pregnancy test, month after month? She gives you resources. And there is so much research. So. Much. Research, all delivered with a casual, easy hand where you don’t realize you’ve learned 2283824 new things until it’s a couple hours later and you finally look up. Amy gets the science—and, most importantly, she understands the emotional toll of it all, and how to navigate those shoals.
Because, oh, yes. There is a major emotional toll to fertility issues. Not only are there the hormones and medications along with the psychological implications, but there’s everyone else, too. Fertility issues come under that strange part of American society that’s still pinned straight to the Victorian days—basically, that women can’t and shouldn’t talk about the messier side of life, lest it bring shame. Which is bullshit, of course, because women are more than half of the population of this country and women who have fertility problems are not a vanishing minority.
Which is why I’m really, really glad this book exists. It will help thousands of women. Amy’s written voice comes through on the page like a funny new bestie you’re looking forward to taking to brunch. Because she is. She’s been there, and she’s ready to help you through.
So, if you’re struggling with having a baby—take THE TRYING GAME to brunch. You won’t be disappointed.
