What Inspires me to write, even in a pandemic

internal monologue not for everyone

Recently, I read a post on someone who found out that not everyone has a running inner dialogue in their minds. I was as shocked as the original poster at this discovery. My mind has always been a chatterbox; I just assumed it was the same for everyone! My inner world is constantly questioning, observing, judging, apologizing, and taking stock. I’m like a ringmaster, struggling to bring peace to a circus of thoughts, memories, fantasies, and reactions to life. I feel so inspired and humbled by this human experience. IT IS SO MUCH. Right now, the entire world has been brought down by a virus. My spirit is shook at every moment of being alive and what it means to survive these times.

When I was a child, I was intimidated by the thought of communicating effectively. Being with people overwhelmed me so much, I would get migraines and break out in a rash. I couldn’t understand how to manage my thoughts and feelings while also advocating for myself and making connections with others. I was quiet, not because I didn’t have anything to say, but because I had so much I wanted to say and no understanding of how to even begin to say it.

Being a writer feels like the most natural use of my soul’s need to unpack, to understand, to be seen, and to connect deeply. Writing is the best way I know how to show myself. My novel, The Goddess Twins, is like the bedtime story my heart has been aching to hear for decades. This magical story is the heart song that will not stop playing, that I must share because it’s so very delicious. (Will you think it’s delicious? I hope so.) I’m grateful for the true authentic love that I have felt through sharing my writing and storytelling passions. Knowing that this gift, of overwhelming thoughts and ideas and feelings, is useful, even valuable to others has been the biggest inspiration for me to continue writing. I want to continue and get better so my ideas and stories and work can help make other people feel less alone, feel entertained, and feel seen in return. I’m excited to continue connecting with others and cannot wait for the feedback from readers!

Sending much love in a time of global pandemic. xoxo.

 

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Yodassa Williams is a powerful conjurer of black girl magic (70% Jedi, 30% Sith). A Jamaican American writer, speaker, and award winning performing storyteller, alumna of the VONA/Voices Travel Writing program and creator of the podcast ‘The Black Girl Magic Files’, Yodassa (Yoda) launched ‘Writers Emerging' in 2019, a wilderness writing retreat for women of color and non-binary people of color. In 2020, Yodassa's debut YA Fantasy, The Goddess Twins, will be published by Spark Press. She grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio and currently resides in the Bay Area.