Renee Swindle on Letting Go of the Rules + GIVEAWAY of A Pinch of Ooh La La!

In looking back at our launches this week, many of us have also looked ahead to Book 2. Our guest today, Renee Swindle, recently launched A Pinch of Ooh La La—not her first or second book, but her third—so of course, we were thrilled to get her perspective on what she’s learned along the way.

A Pinch of Ooh La La is the story of baker Abbey Ross, who is known for her visually stunning wedding cakes but finds her own love life has become stale. When she’s pushed by her best friend Bendrix to step out of her comfort zone, Abbey finds herself matched up with a man who appears to be everything she’s dreamed of: handsome, successful, and looking to raise a family. But a creamy icing might be needed to hide a problem or two. When Samuel complains about disrespect for the institution of marriage, Abbey’s reminded of her nontraditional family, with thirteen children from various mothers. And when Samuel rails about kids having kids, Abbey thinks of her twenty-year-old sister who’s recently revealed her pregnancy.

Soon Abbey is facing one disaster after another and struggling to make sense of it all. Her search for love has led her down a bitter path, but with the help of her unique family and unwavering friends, she just might find the ooh la la that makes life sweet.

Julie Kibler, author of Calling Me Home, says, “I dare you to read Renee Swindle’s delicious new novel, A Pinch of Ooh La La, without pulling out mixing bowls and scanning your music collection for the perfect, jazz-fueled accompaniment. Swindle hits all the right notes with this unique and satisfying tale of love, friendship, and family.”

Renee has offered to send a copy of A Pinch of Ooh La La to one lucky commenter—details at the end of this post!

Drop The Rules, Honey, and Have Some Fun

I was once a woman who had a hard time following her gut. I’m by no means perfect now, but I’m much better. In the past I almost always made decisions based on shoulds and should nots. Say for instance if I was dating someone and we weren’t quite a match, instead of breaking up, I’d give myself a litany of reasons why I should stay with the guy–like, he’s nice, or he has a job, or my favorite, If I break up with him, I’ll hurt his feelings. I had arbitrary rules for almost every situation; and as a novice author I was queen of writing by the rules—my gut, my inner voice, be damned.

It was after I wrote two–yes, two–unsuccessful novels that I finally started to see the damage that living by strict rules can cause. After my first published novel, Please Please Please, came out, I told myself that since it was commercial (the horror!), I should write something “literary” and “sophisticated.” For two and a half years I wrote and rewrote my literary novel with the idea that I needed long narrative passages and not much dialogue. The book was boring as hell and didn’t sell.

After that disaster, I read what felt like every how-to book on the market. I wrote my next novel keeping in mind rules about chapter length and three-part structure and showdowns and outlines. If I felt bored with a scene, I ignored my feelings and stuck with what I believed I should write.

Now it’s easy to see how often I’d shut down my gut each time it said a scene was too long or a chapter wasn’t working. Instead of following my heart, I’d explain my true feelings away; I’d convince myself that the so-so chapter was actually quite good. I thought feeling bored and only mildly engaged was how I was supposed to feel. I thought I was supposed to follow the rules.

By the time I started my second published novel, Shake Down The Stars, I was so fed up with rules I gave up the fight. Frankly, I was too broken to talk myself out of my true feelings. I finally began giving my characters room to be who they were, and I stuck with my own voice and style. Over time, I learned that my gut doesn’t repeat itself all that much and speaks in a whisper. My ego, on the other hand, is often chatty and rarely shuts up.

Did I still write crappy drafts while working on Shake Down The Stars? Of course! But I was so much more relaxed, and I no longer dreaded having to write every day. I suppose I’m learning that if we take a look at how we write, we might learn something about the way we live. How does that voice in your head that tells you you’re not talented keep you from writing more days than not? Does this nasty voice follow you around in other areas of you life?

As for me, I still haven’t met a guy, but I’ve stopped staying in relationships past their expiration date, and I no longer date based on shoulds or shouldn’ts. Yes, I have fewer dates, but I’m certain learning to listen to my inner voice is adding years to my life, and I’m also having much more fun, even when writing.

Readers, what are some ways you’ve let go of the shoulds and shouldn’ts?

GIVEAWAY! Comment on this post by noon EST on Friday, August 22nd, to enter to win a copy of A Pinch of Ooh La La. Follow The Debutante Ball on Facebook and Twitter for extra entries—just mention that you did so in your comments. We’ll choose and contact the winner on Friday. Good luck!

About Renee Swindle:

Renee Swindle’s first novel, Please Please Please, was an Essence Magazine/Blackboard Bestseller. Her second novel, Shake Down The Star,s was published August, 2013 by NAL/Penguin. Her latest novel is A Pinch of Ooh La La (NAL/Penguin).  Renee earned her MFA in creative writing from San Diego State University. An admitted tea snob and owner of three rescue dogs, she lives in Oakland, California. Visit her online at her website or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.